What I know, I know is a person, but only see in part. He alone can reveal and demonstrate Himself. He alone can play the strings of the harp that is my heart. He alone can release harmony, melody, the sounds of heaven ringing from within my soul. He is my highest desire, that for which I most deeply yearn and strive to find. I get lost in the mechanics, side tracked, because a taste or glimpse in three seconds overwhelms my senses and fills my substance, such that I can receive no more, but He would give infinitely more than I could ask or imagine.
Why must I wait? Why must I endure the dryness within of my own soul? With Him there are flowing rivers of life, which I will never forget, bubbling up, washing and soothing, removing the bitterness and filth of my wandering. I remember clearly His presence, all the times of refreshing and sweet fellowship. Oh my soul why are you so troubled within? He is here. He will never leave or forsake His beloved children.
He is waiting for me. He yearns to have fellowship with me. I am just an infant, stretching arms in course random reach, unable to focus my grasp, kicking and twisting in spiritual exercise, but unable to lay hold of that which is right before me. The world tells me to “Stop, lay still, nothing is out there,” with jeers and mocking following. I will keep stretching and kicking until I find dexterity and aim in my spiritual exercises. I will grab hold and pull His goodness to my lips. I will grow in strength and crawl toward Him…He takes me in His arms and I find rest for my soul.
This is my search for the Spirit. Though He dwells within my heart, I want more of Him. I will open my mouth and speak though I don’t know the meaning of the words, but they are a cry and prayer to Him, who speaks with wordless groans deeper than any words. (Rom.8:26)
Yeshua explained, “But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple courts, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant. “Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, “‘From the lips of children and infants you, Lord, have called forth your praise’?” (Matthew 21:15-16; Ps. 8:2) I will listen and heed His voice within, the images He animates upon the screen of my consciousness. His word is ingrained there and He aliveness it, for His purposes. I will share what I hear, see and feel with others as He leads and in my best attempts to walk in His footsteps. It is not for me to convince, compel, or prove, but to follow and shout “Hosanna to the Son of David”. My mental rationalization and reasoning are not usually required by the Spirit and are most often opposed to His intent. When I can’t hear His voice, I will not keep raising the volume button, but will put the earphones back in my ear.